At 3:37AM on a Sunday, as I looked at the clock to determine my tolerance level, I received a frantic phone call from a new user of a Macintosh Plus. She had gotten her entire family out of the house and was calling from the neighbors. Apparently, she had just been confronted with her first system error and interpreted the picture of the bomb on the screen as a warning that the computer was going to blow up.
 
We had a member call up with the usual connection problems. The technician on the call was wondering why it was taking the member and unusually long time to do the simplest tasks, such as selecting an item from the menubar. The member then related that her cat had eaten her mouse ball and she had to move the cursor by putting her finger in the cavity where the mouse ball used to be, and moving the rollers manually.
 
Many years back, while on telesales for a software retailer, a lady rang and asked "Can you suggest the best home office accounting package?" Politely, I answered, "In my opinion, Mind Your Own Business."
She nearly went through the roof.
 
The computer service technician where I work told me he got a call from a secretary complaining that the floppy drive in her computer wouldn't work. He went down to check it out and found that she was putting the discs in WITH the plastic dust sleeves still on them. He asked her why on earth she was doing that and she said, "Well, I didn't want my computer to get a virus."
 
I work at the computer store on a campus. A few weeks ago, we had a customer call in and ask the following:
“I’d like to buy the Internet. Do you know how much it is?”
Tech Support Tales compiled by
 
Eric Hausmann is a Macintosh Technician and Co-Sysop for two Florida BBSes. He welcomes commentary and submissions at Junkspill@aol.com.
